I regularly feel like I am going in circles. I keep coming back to the same issues or the same desires and often feel like I’m getting nowhere. If you feel the same, maybe it’s not circles you’re going in, but spirals.

I have often imagined discipleship as a straight line. It begins with disbelief, moves to belief, then surrender, then doing the ‘stuff’ Jesus calls us to do, and finally multiplication as we help others become disciples. It is a helpful picture. There is movement, growth and a destination.

The danger comes when we assume that discipleship actually works like a straight line.

We can begin to think that once we have dealt with something, we should never have to deal with it again. Once we have surrendered something to Jesus, we should never struggle with it again. If we find ourselves back in the same temptation, the same fear, the same anger or the same failure, we can assume that we must have gone backwards.

But perhaps discipleship is less like a straight road and more like a spiral.

Imagine Christ at the centre. The Christian life is not simply about travelling along a road, trying not to fall off or be derailed. It is about continually moving towards Jesus. Sometimes we find ourselves facing the same issues, but we encounter them from a different place because we are being drawn closer to Christ. This is much closer to the picture Scripture gives us.

Paul tells the Philippians that “God, who began a good work in them, will carry it on to completion”. He does not describe discipleship as a finished transaction, but as an ongoing work of God in us. The destination is that we become increasingly like Jesus, being “conformed to the image of his Son” (Romans 8:29).

Peter gives us a particularly helpful example. He spends years with Jesus, sees miracles, hears his teaching, declares his loyalty and then spectacularly fails him. Yet Jesus does not discard Peter and start again with somebody else. He restores him, teaches him and sends him again. Peter’s story is not a straight line and neither is ours.

This changes the way we think about failure. Imagine someone struggling with an addiction, their last relapse lasted six months, this time it lasted six weeks, later it is six days. Eventually they recognise what is happening within six hours and turn towards someone for help.

The relapse is still a relapse, we should not pretend otherwise but something has changed.

They recognise the pattern sooner, they repent more quickly and they ask for help earlier. They know where to turn. They are learning to move towards Christ rather than away from him.

That is a spiral.

The same principle applies to the ordinary struggles of discipleship. Perhaps I still lose my temper, but I notice it sooner. Perhaps I still struggle with pride, but I am quicker to confess it. Perhaps I still find forgiveness difficult, but I am increasingly willing to ask Jesus to change my heart.

Growth does not necessarily mean that we never encounter the same struggle again. Sometimes growth means that when we encounter it, we respond differently. This also changes how we think about conversion. We often imagine conversion as crossing a line: on one side there is disbelief, and on the other there is belief. But Jesus’ invitation was not simply, “Believe the right things.” His invitation was, “Follow me”. Following implies movement. So perhaps the better question is not simply, “Have you crossed the line?” but, “Are you moving towards Jesus?”

Someone may have been a Christian for forty years and be moving away from Christ. Someone else may have only recently begun asking questions about faith and yet be moving steadily towards him.

For church leaders, this matters enormously. If we measure discipleship only through attendance, serving, Bible knowledge, baptism or leadership, we can mistake activity for transformation. Instead, we should ask deeper questions.

Are people becoming more like Jesus? Are they quicker to repent?

Are they learning to forgive?

Are they becoming more generous?

Are they increasingly attentive to the Spirit?

Are they loving their neighbours?

Are they helping others follow Jesus?

The goal is not simply to get further along the line.

The goal is to become more Christ like.

So if you find yourself facing an old struggle today, don’t automatically conclude that you have gone backwards. Look at the spiral.

Q. Are you closer to Jesus than you were before?

Q. Are you turning towards him more quickly?

Q. Are you becoming more like him?

Discipleship is not about never returning to the same place but it is about discovering that when we do, we are a little closer to Jesus than we were last time.